Teenage Dream
by PhanJovie
Summary: Phil Lester is an average kid who gets by through high school unnoticed. But one day when a mysterious new boy shows up, Phil is intrigued. After an awkward start, the two slowly become friends, but there's a grim past that this dark-haired boy hides behind his chocolate colored eyes. An AU Phan story. Rated M for language and later smut. TRIGGER WARNING
1. Chapter 1 - Prologue

So I guess I should tell you about myself. My name is Phil Lester, I live in Manchester, and I'm 17 years old. There's really not a whole lot about me that's really interesting, but I guess I'll go on. Yolo, right? Anyway. I'm kinda tall and I have black hair and bluish eyes. I like lions, Pokemon, and tumblr. That's really about it for me. I generally tend to keep to myself. Being in high school, there's a lot of social pressure I have to deal with and I try to save myself as much drama as I possibly can. I wish I was in some sort of school where you didn't have to worry about all that. Why can't everyone just get along? You don't even have to get along, just deal with everyone else's existence rather than mercilessly picking on them about it. Geez. As you can probably tell, I'm not a very popular kid. Nobody really notices me. I tend to stay at the back of the classroom and just do my work and get done and leave. None of the girls here want to go out with me. They're not my type anyway; they'd rather go to Starbucks and the shopping centre while I'd prefer to just sit in the grass and talk aimlessly about this or that.

As for anybody else, well, I really don't have a lot of friends. I used to be really tight with my friend PJ, but when his family moved to London we kinda drifted apart. We're still friends, but it's kind of hard to be close when you live miles away. There's a couple of people that I share a few classes with that I'm friends with, but it feels more like a business relationship. If we hang out I'm usually the third wheel, the odd man out. I've ended up just getting used to it, but it's not too bad - I kind of like living in a little world of my own. Of course that gets shattered sometimes when the bullies are around. I often try to fly under the radar at school, but every now and then they'll notice me and make sure I get roughed up a little bit. It's always something dumb, like them making fun of my hair or being called a nerd. I'm glad that's really all they do to me. It's probably another reason why I don't open up at school, otherwise it'd just give them more ammunition.

Then there's my family. It's just me, my mum, and my dad. My older brother has gone off to university so it's rather quiet at home when my parents are at work. They're nice and all, but they're usually very busy and our conversations are often short. I like having time to myself and to just enjoy the quiet without stress but sometimes I envy kids who are really close with their parents. It's not like I can't talk to my parents about serious issues or something, it's just that we don't do any of the little things like chat over breakfast, watch TV or play games together, sometimes we even go an entire day without speaking to one another just because our paths didn't cross that day. So I find I have a lot of time to myself when I get home from school. Usually I'll just listen to music while I do homework or something. I like to write - sometimes coming up with these little fantasy worlds and writing down my ideas and stories can help me take my mind off things and just get lost in somebody else's world.

You might wonder if I get lonely then. I do. I'd really like to have someone there with me to just hang out. We don't have to do anything really, we could just do nothing as long as we're together. Ever since PJ moved I missed that kind of companionship, he was one of my best friends. And as for a girlfriend, well I never had one. I'd like to be with someone and know they are into me just as much as I'm into them. Besides being the unpopular kid, there's another reason that I've never had a girlfriend...

I'm gay.

Yeah I like guys. If you have a problem with it then just go somewhere else. To be fair though, I've never had a boyfriend, but I have never come out to anyone. I don't think my family would be upset (I sometimes wonder if they'd even notice), but what I'm really afraid of is the people at school. Let's just say most of the kids at school aren't very accepting. I know of one guy who is very open about it and he gets picked on relentlessly. It doesn't seem to faze him, and after a while they let up. But I'm not as confident or popular as he is, and I know I'd have a _much_ worse time with the bullies than he did. It really scares me but it really frustrates me at the same time. I just really wanted someone to be with and love and know they loved me and all that. Then one day, everything changed...

* * *

_Buzz buzz buzz buzz_

I sighed and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. It's Monday, hooray. I had some long-ass project to struggle with through the weekend and I was _wiped_. I really did not want to go to school but there's no getting out of it, the teacher for that class is a real butt and she made sure we all knew it was due today so I can't just not show up. I rolled out of bed and fell on the floor. Picking myself up, I checked the time on my phone. Why do I have to be up at 6 am? Ugh. I wandered down the hall to the bathroom and shut the door. I showered and straightened my hair so that I at least look presentable. I pulled on some black skinny jeans and a dark red plaid shirt and grabbed my bag and headed towards the kitchen. My mum was oddly still here, but probably not for long.

"Good morning Phil, I heard you were up so I put a couple waffles in the toaster. I have to leave now and it's going to be a long day at work so I'll see you sometime this evening," she said, kissing me on the forehead.

See, she's not mean or ignores me or something, she's just really busy and we don't get a lot of time together. Same with my dad, he's usually at work long before I get up. I feel bad for them though, it must be stressful. I'd never want to live like that when I get their age.

The waffles popped out of the toaster. It was still somewhat early so I took my time eating. When they were gone and I found myself with nothing else to do, I figured I might as well just head to school. I locked the door behind me and trudged down the sidewalk. It was cloudy but not too cold outside so it wasn't uncomfortable to walk to school. My house isn't that far anyway. It wasn't long before I arrived at the big gray building. My school looks more like a prison. No, I think I've seen prisons that are more decorative than my school. It really doesn't help take away the stress that school gives you when you get the feeling that you're in jail. I stopped at the front walkway and sighed. Hell awaits.

* * *

**Hey guys! Welcome to my new story, Teenage Dream! This is my new multichapter after Girl On Fire (no it is not related, that series is finished). I've got a bit of a writing groove back so hopefully I'll have chapter two up very soon. But I'm excited to start this story with you guys. It's a sort of AU where Dan and Phil are in high school (in case you haven't guessed that by now) and it is mostly in Phil's perspective, but there will be a couple instances of it in Dan's. Anyway, I really hope you like it and I feel like it's gonna be a bit different from my other stories. This one as you'll see later is a lot more personal to me, I'm kind of basing Dan's character off my childhood, although slightly more dramatized to make a better story (my childhood wasn't THAT traumatic lol). If you like it then follow/fav to get updates for future chapters! And of course I love reading your reviews so let me know what you think of it. See you soon!**


	2. Chapter 2 - A New Day, A New Face

I trudged up the steps and pushed open the door. It was loud and chaotic inside as it usually is. Kids talking and running around, trying to get to class or to catch up with their various cliques. There's a whole lot of social pressure in my school that I've never really understood. Basically, you have the popular girls, the wannabe popular girls, the jocks, the bullies, the hipsters, and then the rest of the kids who really don't fit in anywhere. I fall in the latter. Not that I want to be in any of their categories anyway. It's just a load of drama and bullshit. I don't want to fit in anywhere at school, but to be honest even if I did want to, I'd have a horrible time trying. I usually just keep to myself and try to stay out of everyone's way. I get pushed out of the way when the crowds come through the halls, and trying to find a seat in the cafeteria is virtually impossible. I usually end up eating outside by myself, even if it's raining. Then there's the bullies of course, but I just try to stay out of their way and they usually don't bother me. Sometimes our paths cross, however.

I waded through the crowds and made my way to my locker. I pulled out the books that I'll need and quickly shoved them in my bag and shut the door, trying to get out of the halls as quick as I can. It didn't take very long for one of them to notice me, because as soon as I clicked the lock I felt a hand shove me forward and I face planted onto my locker door.

"Oops! Sorry pipsqueak I didn't see you," Marty laughed. Marty and his friend Deon are the main threats in the halls, and if you're not careful they'll have something to say to you. Marty isn't exactly someone you'd miss either, he's extremely tall and menacing looking. Deon is shorter and stockier, but I've seen him pack quite a punch with someone else who's gotten in his way. As for me, I shrugged them off and walked away.

"Aw, what, you won't even bother saying good morning?" He jeered, grabbing my backpack and pulling me backwards.

"Please stop, I'm just trying to get to class so I'm not late again," I sighed.

"That's so cute! What a teacher's pet," Deon chuckled.

"No, she's just really strict about being on time and I don't want a detention," I mumbled.

"Whatever, you're just a pussy, you're no fun to mess with," Marty said, pushing me forward and sending me on my way.

I just rolled my eyes and shrugged them off. I get my fair share of the teasing but at least it's not really bad. I bounded up the stairs to my first class. I have having a school with multiple floors. There's only 2, but it seems every year my classes alternate between the ground floor and the first floor and that means constant running up and down stairs to avoid being late. I reached the top and walked quickly to the end of the hall. I made it through the door and had just sat down when the bell rang. At least I was safe. If I was still walking through the door, the teacher would've chewed me out anyway. Two kids came in just 10 seconds after the bell, and she turned her attention to their "tardiness" and made sure they enjoyed a nice, long lecture.

"Now I trust that you all have your projects you should have been working on over the weekend. I will collect those from you now." She announced. I sighed and pulled mine out of my bag. She made her way around the room and picked up everyone's folders, making occasional comments.

"I hope yours is complete, Philip, we don't want a repeat of last time now do we?" She said while picking up mine.

"No, I made sure everything was finished," I said. I had forgotten the last part of our last project and she really made sure I remembered to get it done next time.

And with that, she started her lesson. Or sermon, however you want to call it. Why did I have to get English first period? I zoned out through most of it, thinking about what I was going to do later that day. My mind drifted to thinking about the plot of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, one of my favorite TV shows. The last episode was a huge cliffhanger and the forums online were just bursting with what could happen next. However my thoughts were short lived when I was shaken back to reality.

"Mr. Lester!" Mrs. Acaster snapped. "We are going over a critical point and I suggest you should turn your attention to the whiteboard instead of whatever it is that you find so interesting out the window."

"Sorry..." I mumbled, opening my notebook and copying down what she had wrote. A couple of hushed giggles arose from the class but she shot them down. I sighed and tried my best to follow along. If it's not social pressure, it's pressure from the teachers. I've only ever had one or two really nice teachers, the rest are real sticklers. Mrs. Acaster towers above them all as one of the strictest and most rigid, and _everyone_ fears getting on her bad side.

After what felt like forever, the bell finally rang. I jumped up and headed straight for the door when she stopped me.

"May I have a brief word with you, Mr. Lester?" Mrs. Acaster asked. I winced internally and made my way over to the desk, past some of the other kids who giggled at my unfortunate luck as they left the room.

"This is the fifth time I've found you drifting off during class, please make an effort to pay attention," she said.

"I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind sometimes," I muttered.

"I understand," she replied, her tone oddly changing to a more sympathetic one. "But you are one of my top students and I always expect people to perform at their best. I don't want you to fail because of apathy or distraction. Are we clear?"

"Yes ma'am," I answered.

"Thank you. Now please make your way to class," she said. I nodded and walked out.

Well that was weird. She doesn't like people zoning out on her but she usually just tells them that if they don't pay attention it's their own fault. I'm not sure why she showed some sort of interest in me, but I don't know if I'm scared or proud. I just shook my head and went back downstairs. I had my history book, which is my next class, and it's at the opposite end of the school. I skipped putting my English book back in my locker because I really don't want to get yelled at for being late again. I pushed past people gabbing in the hallway. Nobody else ever seems to be that concerned but it always feels like I'm the only one who gets tardy slips the most. The bell rang in my ear as I walked past and I jumped. Great. Now I'm going to be late. I started walking faster until I reached the door. When I walked in, people weren't even sat down yet but the teacher, Mr. Jackson, was already on my case.

"You're late again, Phil," he said.

"I'm sorry, I got-" I started but he interrupted me.

"I don't want excuses. This is the third time, so I'm going to have to issue you a tardy slip. One more and it's detention, do you understand?" he boomed.

"Yes sir..." I said quietly.

"Now sit down so we can get started."

I took my place at my usual seat in the back of the class. It was in the corner by a window, and the desk next to me is always empty so I don't have to worry about annoying neighbors. I dug through my bag and tried to find my book so I could take notes, as Mr. Jackson is notorious for pop quizzes. It seemed like the lesson was only going for a few minutes when there was a knock at the door. The principal walked in with a kid that looked about my age. He was tall and lean and had on a black shirt and black skinny jeans. His dark brown hair covered part of his face, but his deep chocolate colored eyes intrigued me. I'm not sure what it was, but he had this mysterious yet kind of attractive look about him. It took me a minute to realize that we had made eye contact and that he saw me staring at him. I turned away quickly and stared intently at my book, starting to blush.

"Well hello Dan, it's nice to have you joining us. There's an empty desk over by Phil, the boy in the red shirt. If you want to take your seat we can go ahead and get started," Mr. Jackson said. The boy looked at me for a second as if there was some hesitation going through his mind before he walked over and sat down next to me. I stared intently at my book and pretended to not notice him. I saw out of the corner of my eye him looking at me for a second before turning back to the teacher as he started his lecture.

Great. That's just great. I really didn't need a neighbor and I have this feeling that sharing classes with this guy is gonna be... interesting.

* * *

**Heeeeey I'm back :D Here's chapter two. I'm glad you guys are liking this story so far. If you noticed I brought Mrs. Acaster back, the jerk teacher from Girl On Fire. I'm not sure why I just needed a rude teacher and I figured why not be self referential hooray. And Marty and Deon are named after some dumbasses that used to pick on me in middle school so if they're reading this hi *middle finger*. Lol but enough of that. So it's starting to get interesting, Dan has now joined our cast. What's gonna happen? I hope to have chapter 3 up soon :D xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3 - Long Days and Death Wishes

I shook my head out of my daze. I had zoned out again - we're still in history too. Ugh, this is gonna be a long day. I hate having two very uninteresting and long classes right in the beginning of the day. This Dan guy next to me seemed to be in the same state. He was interesting, however. I tried to peek at him out of the corner of my eyes without looking like I'm totally staring. His face was reserved, not really showing much emotion. He seemed to hide in his jacket, black to match the rest of his outfit. I'm not sure if I'd call him "emo" but he wasn't exactly very colorful either. I don't know, I really couldn't put my finger on what captured my attention. He didn't talk in class at all, he just kinda sat there and stared. But there was something about him that I just couldn't help but find so intriguing.

Finally, after forever and a day, the bell rang.

"Remember what we discussed today! There will be a quiz tomorrow. Make sure you have your homework done and turned in _on time_," the teacher announced.

I sighed a response and kept walking. I had a free period, so I could do whatever I wanted. Usually I would go outside and sit under the trees or hang around in the library. I liked to read, and reading fiction was much more interesting than a textbook. I started on my way over there, in no big hurry, when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, um... what was your name again?" a voice said. I turned around. Dan was standing right in front of me. So he can talk.

"Uh, it's Phil," I replied.

"Okay. So anyway you can probably guess I'm new here, and I have no frickin clue where anything is and you seemed like the only person I could ask for directions without getting laughed at," he said.

What did he mean by that? Everyone else in this school is pretty much a dick. He thinks I'm nice? Does he like me? What?

"Oh, uh sure. What's on your schedule?"

He pulled his schedule out of his bag and showed it to me. I looked down the list of teachers and classes he had. It turns out he has English, history, and biology with me.

"Well let's see..." I mumbled. "It looks like all of your classes are in the same area so you don't have a lot of running around to do."

"That's a relief," he sighed.

"Your maths is just on the other side of this hallway, and biology is just round the corner. The cafeteria is in the middle of the building and theater and arts are held right next to it," I explained.

"Right, well thanks," he said.

He started to walk away and I began to head down the hall to the stairs when I heard some familiar voices.

"Oh hey, a new kid. What's your name emo?" Marty's voice echoed. I turned around and walked towards Dan. I walked behind him and whispered in his ear.

"Don't talk to them, just walk away."

"What are you doing, we're just trying to welcome the new guy," Deon whined.

"Cut him some slack," I snipped, wondering where I got this newfound courage. I never usually talked back to them but today they were irritating me. A lot. "Just go on to your next class, Dan, ignore them."

Dan looked at me for a second and walked away, getting lost in the crowd before Marty or Deon could say or do anything.

"What did you do that for? I was just being nice," Marty said.

"No you weren't, just stop okay?" I sighed, starting to walk away.

"What's wrong pussy, you don't want me to say something to make your boyfriend upset?" He sneered. I stopped in my tracks.

"He's not my boyfriend! He's just some new guy that I was helping find his way around and I think you should at least cut him a break since it's his first day here, now leave me alone!" I replied, turning and walking away quickly.

I cursed under my breath. I hate those two twats. All they want to do is make people miserable and it is their favorite thing to do. I don't understand why they have to be such asses sometimes.

But what he said about Dan being my boyfriend... Do I have a mini crush on him? I'm not sure... I doubt he's into guys anyway. But there's just something about him that kinda attracts me. I don't really know what it is. I pushed the door open and sat down under a tree. Even if I did have a crush on him, I doubt I could say anything about it. I'm not out publicly and I want to keep it that way. And could I even be with him? Does he even like me? Why must feelings like these have to be so confusing? I sighed and pulled my legs in, resting my chin on my knees. I let my mind just wander, but it didn't seem to go far before returning to the topic of Dan. Maybe I just want to be his friend. He seems like he doesn't have a whole lot of friends. Maybe that's why he has that whole dark and mysterious look to him - he just doesn't open up. I don't blame him though, you can't open up to the people here, they'll just tear you to pieces. But maybe if he at least had one friend to keep him company he might look a little happier.

I heard the bell ring and got up to head to class. My maths class isn't too far from where I was sitting so I didn't have to race there. I tried to see if I could find Dan in the halls but he didn't appear. I sighed and just went into class, but I couldn't pay attention during the lesson because I couldn't take my mind off him. Why am I suddenly so obsessed with this guy I only kinda just met? Hopefully this feeling will just go away soon.

Maths passed rather uneventfully, and after it finished I raced to the stairs to make biology on time. I remembered that I shared biology with Dan, so maybe I'll have an opportunity to talk to him. My long legs carried me swiftly up the stairs and I made it to the door just before the bell rang. I quickly scanned the classroom for Dan. He was there, but he was sitting in the back corner, and the desk next to him was taken so I couldn't sit next to him. Damn.

"Philip, take your seat please," the teacher said, giving me a look.

"Oh, uh sorry," I muttered and found the nearest empty chair and sat down before the class could see me turning red. This class was a lot more painful than maths, because I desperately wanted to talk to Dan but I couldn't. I just prayed that when the bell rang I could find him. I listened to the teacher go on about cell structure and anatomy; I probably should've been taking notes because there's a test on Friday, but it wouldn't really do any good as I'm not paying attention anyway. We went through pages and pages and pages and it felt like forever. Just when I thought it was over she brought up a slideshow and we had even longer to go. After a painfully long lesson, the bell finally rang. I stood up a little too quickly and knocked all my books and papers over, bringing a few laughs from some of the other kids in the class. I turned bright red and scrambled to pick my stuff up. By the time I had shoved all my things back in my bag, Dan was long gone. My last class was on the other side of the school (again) so I had zero time to try and look for him. Well maybe I'll find him after school and we can talk. I don't even know why I want to talk to him so badly, there's just something in my head that really wants to. But for now I had no choice but to get to class as quickly as I could.

I had art on my schedule today, and while usually I enjoy that class I once again couldn't wait to get it over with. When the last bell rang, I shot out of the room and dumped some stuff in my locker so I could travel lighter. I scoured the halls, which were bustling with kids pouring out of their classrooms to freedom, like fish streaming over a dam. I made my way downstairs and looked around. I finally saw him by the vending machines. I started on my way over there. A couple girls going past stared noticeably at him, obviously checking him out. He ignored them, and they eventually just passed by. I would've just thought nothing of it until I heard a pair of all too familiar laughs.

"I betcha he doesn't get too much action," Deon laughed.

"Can't even pick up the chicks that stare him down," Marty sniffed.

"Why do you care? Leave me alone," Dan said flatly.

"Just stating the facts! It's not my fault you can't impress a bitch if you wanted to,"Marty replied.

"I'm gay, I don't care," Dan shrugged and started to walk away. Wait, what? Did he just say he was gay? But did he just tell that to them? A couple of bystanders whipped their heads around, mouths open as if they were about to laugh. Marty and Deon looked at each other with this horrible smile.

"We got ourselves a fag, wonderful," Deon jeered.

"You could get with that other dirty faggot that goes here. He's such a slut, it's disgusting," Marty said.

"I know right? I wish he'd die and go to hell," Deon returned.

"You'll be right down there with him, emo boy."

"Whore."

"Gaylord."

The name calling and laughter continued and I was about to step in when I heard another voice.

"Oh my god, that is like, so rude! Stop it you two buffoons!" Someone said. It was Tyler, one of the only openly gay guys that I know that goes here. He has a boyfriend named Troye and they're both very sassy and not afraid to stand up to homophobes.

"Shut up princess, no one invited you," Marty said, rolling his eyes. Tyler scoffed.

"Ugh, you're so mean, this poor guy just got here and you're already picking on him for no reason."

"Well if you like him that much then you can see him in hell cause that's where you both will be," Marty huffed.

"Hell is where all the interesting people are, amiright?" Tyler said, getting a laugh from his two friends with him. "Now sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up or else it's gonna be story time motherfucker," he said, pointing his finger at Marty before walking away. Marty and Deon simply rolled their eyes. Dan had started to walk away, but Deon grabbed his bag and pulled him backwards.

"Leave me alone already! I got bullied a lot at my old school and I don need any more from here," Dan hissed.

"Oh shut up fag, you deserve it," Deon retaliated.

"If you don't like it you should just kill yourself, that'll take care of it," Marty said. Dan glared at him for a minute before sighing.

"Fine. Will it make you happy? If I do, will you get off my case?" He said.

"Ooh, is that a threat?" Marty laughed.

"Seriously. If you leave me alone and put me down for fucks sake already, then I'll do it. Tonight. And you won't see me here tomorrow morning."

"Bahaha, I'd like to see that. Alright then faggot, I'll let you go but you keep your word, I don't wanna see your disgusting face tomorrow," Marty said, letting go of Dan's bag.

"Then I guess this is goodbye," Dan mumbled before walking away quickly. I gasped and started after him but Deon saw me and stuck his arm out to catch me.

"Going somewhere?" He asked.

"Fuck off! Don't you dare do that to him! If he kills himself I swear... I will do something horrible to you," I exclaimed, shoving him off of me and running away from them. I ran down the hall I saw Dan disappear down and out the front doors.

"Dan? Hey Dan?!" I called. He was gone.

* * *

**Hey guys, so now things are starting to get a little bit more serious oh. So does Phil like Dan? What's gonna happen now that he knows Dan is gay? And will he be able to stop Dan in time? Well he doesn't technically know where he lives so... Idk. But hey new chapter thats actually on time compared to my weird upload schedule with Girl On Fire! I'm not going for a specific schedule but I'm gonna try to upload within a week of the previous chapter. So uh yeah. Also Tyler and Troye are based on Tyler Oakley and Troye Sivan. I don't know if they'll make any other appearances later but hey here's a cameo for now woo. So anyway I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story so far and I'll update soon! Love y'all!**


	4. Chapter 4 - Search and Rescue?

Last night was a horrible night. I kept thinking about Dan. Was he really gonna kill himself like he told those two jerks? Or was he just calling their bluff? Either way, it was the only thing on my mind, and I couldn't sleep at all. I don't know why I'm suddenly into him, but now I'm really concerned. To me, he just seems like somebody that really needs a friend. He said that he got bullied a lot at his old school, maybe he transferred to avoid it? If that's the case then this is an awful way to begin a fresh start.

I rolled out of bed and shook my head. I really wanted to get to school today. I had to try and find Dan before school started. I'm not really sure why, I just needed to make sure he was okay. I hate those two goons, and if he actually takes their advice I'm going to have to hurt them. Bad. I grabbed the first shirt and pair of pants out of my closet, not really caring what matched or not, and grabbed my bag and headed out. I dug around the cupboards for something to eat on the way to school... I guess a couple of fig newtons will suffice. I was almost out the door when I bumped into my mum.

"Oh, Phil! You're a bit early, aren't you?" She asked.

"Well yeah, but I needed to get to school early so..."

"Is there something special going on?"

"No... I just need to meet someone before class starts. To give them... some notes," I said delicately.

"Oh, okay. Well I hope you enjoy your day then, sweetie," she said, giving me a hug then going into the den.

I shut the door behind me and walked quickly to school. When I got there, I looked around outside for Dan before going in. I searched around the front steps, benches, bus stops, everywhere but I couldn't find him. Maybe he's not here yet, or maybe he's just inside. I checked all the halls trying to find him, while at the same time keeping an eye out for Marty and Deon, making sure not to get caught. I went to where I last saw Dan, where he was getting picked on, which is where I assumed is where his locker is. I didn't see him anywhere. I sighed and checked my phone. Crap, I have like 7 minutes before the bell. I fought through the crowd for the stairs, still keeping an eye out for Dan. He's just not anywhere to be found. I only had a minute before I had to go to class, so that's where I ended up going. I share English with Dan, so maybe he'll turn up. I hope.

I made it to my seat before the bell, and Mrs. Acaster seemed pleased. I sighed. At least she isn't going to be on my back the whole period. The bell rang, and the last few students came rushing in to receive a lecture from her before she started the lessons. No Dan, however. I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Well, he could still be here, right? Maybe he's just... in the... bathroom...? I tried not to think about it but I couldn't pay attention to the lesson at all. Fortunately, Mrs. Acaster didn't call on me to read or answer anything, and when the bell rang I shot out of my seat and back into the halls. I stuck my head around the corner before heading back down the stairs to history - I also share that class with Dan, maybe he'll turn up there. I didn't get very far before I felt something pull me backwards.

"Hey fucktard, what the hell are you doing?" a voice bellowed in my ear.

"What?" I exclaimed, turning around to find Marty and Deon behind me.

"The fuck do you mean when you said you was gonna 'hurt us' if that emo kid kills himself?" He hissed.

"I..."

"Spit it out dickface."

"I mean it!" I yelled back. "He came from another school and got bullied a lot just for being himself and it didn't take you very long to jump on him. He just wanted a fresh start! He seemed like a nice guy and he wasn't hurting anybody, and if he really tries to kill himself because of what you said... I don't even know what I'm gonna do, but you're gonna be in for it!"

With that, I spun out of his grip and bolted down the stairs. Deon started after me but a wave of kids blocked him. I ran down the stairs and into the bathroom, locking myself in a stall and sitting on the toilet with my feet up so he can't see me in here if he looks. I think I kinda got myself in more than I bargained for. But that's not really my concern, my main concern is finding Dan and making sure he's alright. But so far this isn't going so well. I heard the warning bell and decided I'd take a risk and step out to see if Deon is still hanging around looking for me. I stuck my head out of the door but I didn't see him. History class is just three doors down, if I'm quick I can make it. I checked both ways down the halls before bolting out of the bathroom and into the classroom. I made it. I sat down and breathed a sigh of relief - I wasn't late either thank goodness. I looked around the classroom but Dan wasn't here. The feeling in my stomach started to come back. Poor guy, I really hope he's alright.

The rest of the school day went pretty much the same. I went from class to class, looking for Dan but not finding him at all. I somehow managed to avoid Marty and Deon the entire day, which I guess was nice. I didn't want to run into either of them. But as the end of the day approached, things started to look hopeless. He just wasn't here. I think he did. I think he did actually take their advice. I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I don't know why it upset me so much, but it did. He was just a guy like me trying to get along with the world but the world didn't want him. That's horrible.

The final bell rang and I trudged out of class. I didn't bother going halfway across campus to throw books in my locker so I just carried them home. I already felt like I had a weight on my chest, so why not just carry a bunch on my shoulders anyway. It was cold and cloudy outside and it certainly didn't help my mood. I just felt so bad for the guy. I made it to my house and kicked my shoes off, dropping my bag in the foyer and trudging up to my room. My mum was home today, and normally on her days off I like to take the opportunity to do things with her but right now, the only person I wanted to talk to was Dan. But it looks like I probably won't ever get to talk to him again. I just pushed my door shut and flopped down on my bed with my face in my pillow. I think maybe the reason that it's affecting me so much is that I'm a lot like Dan. He said he got bullied a lot, he didn't look like he was super popular, he even was gay, so he probably got a lot of grief from close minded people as well. I guess I could see myself possibly being in his shoes. Maybe that's why I connected with him in my mind. I just hope that nothing bad happened to him... I sighed into my pillow and took my thoughts into my subconscious with me as I fell asleep.

I woke up with a crink in my neck while the smell of something delicious filled the air. My mum must be nearly finished with dinner. I felt really shit and didn't even want to eat, but I figured I ought to since this is one of the few times my mum is actually at home. I came downstairs and into the kitchen to find her bustling about making lasagna.

"Hi sweetie," she said. "Oh... you don't look too good. What's wrong?"

"I uh..." I stammered, caught off by her question. "I just fell asleep. School was long."

"Did you meet whoever it was to give them those notes?" she asked.

"Oh. Actually, no, I couldn't find them."

"Oh dear. Maybe they'll be there tomorrow."

"Yeah."

It was quiet for a little while after that. Her focus shifted between the stove and her laptop while I just sat at the table playing with the ice cubes that floated in my glass of water.

"So Phil, are you going to tell me now or never, what's wrong with you? You don't look well at all. Something's weighing on your mind," she said, snapping me out of my daze.

"What?"

"What happened at school? Are you alright? You know you can talk to me honey," she said softly.

I hesitated for a moment before deciding to tell her and see what she thinks.

"Well, there was this new guy that I met yesterday, and he seemed nice enough, he just looked a little stressed like anybody would be on their first day of a new school. He asked me to just show him around so I did and we're not really like friends or anything but like I said, he seems like a nice guy," I explained.

"So what happened? Did he say something to you?" she asked, turning the stove off and sitting down at the table, giving me her full attention. It made me feel glad that she at least cares, even though she's always so busy.

"No, but the two bullies did. They were picking on him, saying like he couldn't pick up chicks or whatever. But he just shrugged them off and said he was gay, hoping that they would leave him alone, but they didn't."

"Oh I see," she said.

"They kept calling him names and told him to kill himself. They do that to a lot of people but they just ignore them. But for some reason Dan... that's his name, Dan... just sighed and said 'well fine, if I do it tonight will you be happy and leave me alone?' and it made me really worried. That happened yesterday, and I tried to get to school early to look for him but he wasn't there. I thought maybe he was just late but now I'm afraid that... that he actually did it," I said, getting quiet at the last part.

"Oh honey that sounds awful! I feel so bad for him. Well, I don't know what else to say or do really. Why don't you give it another day? Maybe he was just out today for some other reason?" she replied.

"I hope so. I just feel really awful for him," I sighed.

"You know, the laws have changed recently. If somebody tells another person to kill themselves and they actually do, the former can be held accountable. Not directly as murder, but along similar lines," she said.

"So if he really did kill himself, they could get in major trouble?" I asked.

"Absolutely. Your father told me that one of his coworkers at the law office had a case where two teenage girls were being put on trial because of constant bullying and death threats to this other girl who eventually committed. It's absolutely heartbreaking, but justice needs to be served," she explained.

"Huh..." I replied.

"But for now, try not to worry about it. You look tired. Make sure you get some sleep tonight, and maybe he'll be at school tomorrow," she said, ruffling my hair.

"Thanks mum."

"You're welcome honey I'm really sorry this happen, you really seem to care about this Dan fellow."

"I dunno, I just feel bad, like I could see myself in his shoes."

"I understand."

The timer sounded, and she got up to take our dinner out of the oven. I set the table, and shortly after my dad came in from work. He greeted us and hung his coat on a rack before sitting down at the table with us. I tried to put the thought of Dan out of my mind. I was trying to take her advice and think positive - maybe he just had to do something and couldn't make it to school today and he'll be there perfectly fine tomorrow. I hope so. I just tried to put it in the back of my mind. Besides, we were all eating dinner together as a family, and this is something that rarely happens. It was nice to be together with both of my parents at the same time while neither of them had something important to do. After dinner, I went up to finish my homework. When I finished, I thought about writing but my mum called me downstairs. When I arrived, she gave me a big bowl of ice cream and said we were going to watch a movie that we all had been waiting to see. I could tell she was trying to help me relax and not worry too much about Dan right now, which was nice. she was trying to help at least. We enjoyed our evening together, and I started to feel better about the situation. It was rather late when the movie finished, so I headed up to bed to try and get some sleep to make up for last night. I dove under my covers and was soon asleep.

* * *

The next day I woke up feeling somewhat better. I hoped I would run into Dan today and be able to talk to him. I was up and dressed quickly and scarfed down some cereal before heading out the door. On my way out, I bumped into my mum who was in the garage getting into her car.

"Hope everything goes well today, I love you Phil," she said.

"Thanks mum. Love you too."

I walked to school slightly more upbeat. Maybe it was just nothing. I sure hope so. I arrived and looked around outside again for Dan, but I didn't see him. He must be inside. I was a little bit later than I was yesterday, so I didn't have time to look around for him, instead I had to go straight to class. Fortunately, my first class today I share with Dan, and I have a free period after so I can look for him. I walked in and sat down before the bell rang, but no sign of him. There was an empty desk next to me where he would've sat, but he didn't show up again. I tried to keep positive, but that feeling in my stomach was coming back. It's not hopeless, I kept telling myself, but I was slowly starting to doubt it. The teacher went on through her lesson and still no Dan showed up. The bell rang and I immediately stood up. I went out and looked around to see if I could spot Dan somewhere, but I couldn't. The warning bell rang for the next class, and people started to file away. I didn't see him going into a classroom anywhere. Maybe things are hopeless. I sighed and trudged over to my locker to put my books in. I stood there for a minute, letting it sink in. Did he really... was he really... gone? I closed the door and started to turn around to walk away when I bumped into something.

"Ow..." a voice said.

"Uh, sorry..." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes, not bothering to look at who it was. When I opened them and looked up, I was totally surprised.

"Dan!" I exclaimed.

"Yes...?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"You're... you... I... you're okay!" I stammered.

"Well you didn't run into me _that_ hard..." He said.

"No, I mean like..." I started.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "What?"

"Well... I saw what happened the other day, when those two guys were picking on you. You said you were gonna kill yourself so that they would get off your back."

"Yeah?" He said hesitantly. He looked like he didn't trust me.

"So you didn't?"

"No," he huffed. "I had to go out of town for something. When they said that, I told them that so they would shut up. I knew I wouldn't be here tomorrow, so I was calling their bluff. I'm not gonna kill myself because of what two assholes say. End of story, it's done now, okay?"

"But..." I started.

"Just don't worry about it."

"So you're alright then?" I asked. He shrugged a reply.

"Because I felt really bad for you. I was really worried when you didn't show up the next day," I told him.

He looked at me for a minute. I could see his eyes studying me, trying to figure something out. He looked down for a moment and sighed.

"Okay, look, why do you care?" He said. "What do you want from me? Why are you so interested in my well-being?"

I was taken aback by his statement. But when I looked at him, I could see it in his face. He had this look of hurt and distrust in his eyes. Why? Did I say something?

"I don't know, you just seemed like a nice guy and you don't deserve the shit they were giving you. I felt bad because I can empathize. I don't think anyone should go through that. When you said you were going to commit it really worried me because I know how that feels," I said quietly. His look seemed to soften.

"Seriously?" he asked.

"Yeah. I know everyone in this school is pretty much a dick, but I like to think that I'm not. You just kinda looked like you could use a friend, and I dunno, I felt like I might as well try because anybody else is just gonna try and fuck you up."

"Well now you can see why I have trust issues," he said. "I got bullied extremely badly in my old school. It was horrible. Nobody liked me. Anybody who wanted to be my friend ended up deserting me or betraying me. I don't want it to happen again."

"You can trust me. I promise. I know what that feels like and I would never do it to anybody," I said firmly.

He simply looked at me, as if I were wearing some sort of guise he could see through. When he eventually decided he couldn't find one, he sighed and held out his hand.

"Friends?"

"Friends."

And we shook on it.

* * *

**Hey guys! I am back within a reasonable frame of time yaaaaaaaay. Sorry if this was a somewhat long chapter but weyhey. Anyway, so Phil has found Dan finally and ooh we have a bit of backstory to Dan (I told you Dan's character was gonna be a lot like me...) and now they are friends. So what's gonna happen? I'd tell you but I can't sorry. Anyway. Also, the story Phil's mum told him about with the girls and the bullying and stuff, that actually happened in my town, it was on the news and it was really sad because the girl got bullied so much that she committed, but her bullies were getting punished for it, so it just goes to show how awful and horrible bullying is and never do it! So I'm rambling now but it's important. Okay so that's it really, I'll hope to have the next chapter up soon! And also I hit 1000 followers on twitter wow! If you wanna follow me it's PhanJovie yay. See you soon! xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5 - Finally, A Friend

The warning bell rang, signaling that there was only a few more minutes to get to class.

"Oh crap, I have to go, my class is on the other side of the school!" I groaned.

"Dang. I'll see you later then," Dan said.

"I'll meet you at lunch, okay? I usually sit off in the corner by the fire extinguisher," I told him.

Dan nodded a reply and we departed.

I rushed over to my locker and grabbed my math book before hurrying to class. I still can't believe how relieved I am that I found Dan. But at the same time I feel really excited. I just made a friend! He seems a lot like me. It'll be nice to have someone to hang out with and talk to instead of just being alone all year. I mean, I had a couple of friends, but they just feel more like an acquaintance. I know we only just met, but honestly, Dan feels different. Maybe we have something incredible on our hands.

I slid into my chair and pulled out my notebook. I have a somewhat early lunch period after this class so it won't be long before I can try and find Dan again. Then again, this is going to feel like an agonizingly long lesson... especially because I do_ not_ enjoy trigonometry. I'm not sure anybody does, but that still doesn't stop the teacher from going on like it's one of the greatest things in the world. Even though I should have been taking notes, I couldn't take my mind off of Dan. Does he actually like me, or is he just pretending so I'll leave him alone? Does he really trust me? Because he said he had trust issues; I know what that's like and I do feel bad for him. And even if he doesn't, in time I can prove to him that I really do just want to be his friend and I don't have some sort of ulterior motive. I sighed and kept thinking about it while doodling in my notebook, pretending like I was taking notes so the teacher wouldn't snip at me.

This class is taking forever. The teacher assigned homework and I thought we were almost done but then she went on talking about some project that's due at the end of the year. I sighed... could this bell be any longer? Finally, _finally_, the bell rang and I jumped up out of my seat. I pushed past people and avoided eye contact with the teacher - for some reason whenever I'm in a hurry to go somewhere, they always seem to need to talk to me after class. Luckily I avoided that and made it out into the hallway. Many people had lunch period now, so the halls were jam packed with kids trying to get to the cafeteria to eat. I swam through the crowds, many of whom had decided to just stand in the hallway and gab, which isn't very convenient when you need to get past. I made it to the cafeteria and grabbed a tray, picking up a few things to eat before searching for Dan. I usually sit in the corner, it's far from everyone else so its a somewhat more private place. I saw Dan sitting at the last table in the row, looking around anxiously. When he saw me coming he perked up. I put my tray down and sat down next to him.

"Hey!" I said.

"Hey, you actually came!" Dan said.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" I asked.

"I dunno... I was afraid you were just leading me on or something," Dan said quietly.

"I wouldn't ever do that to you, I promise!" I assured him. He gave me a small smile and turned his attention back to his crisps. I had never seen him smile before, usually he looks rather melancholy. It kinda made me feel good. He has a nice smile. It was quiet while we ate, and when we finished we went to dump our trays and put them back.

"So what do you usually do after this?" Dan asked me.

"I usually sit outside for a little while until it's time for the next period. Usually I draw or write or something."

"Can I go with you?" he asked, still looking a bit nervous.

"Sure," I smiled.

There's another door in the cafeteria that leads outside. The school is shaped in a big rectangle, but in the middle there's a small courtyard-ish thing with some trees and grass and benches. Nobody usually goes out there, probably because they either don't care or don't know it exists, which makes it an even better hangout for me. We went outside and sat down. It was quiet compared to the noisy crowds inside.

"I didn't know this was here," Dan said, looking around.

"I didn't either until I accidentally went out here thinking it was the bathroom," I replied. "There's usually nobody here, so I like to come here to just sit and try and relax a little bit before it's back to hell."

Dan was quiet for a moment.

"So school can be pretty hellish for you too?" he asked.

"Kind of. It's mostly all the homework and the annoying teachers. Especially Mrs. Acaster, she's awful."

"Do you get a lot of problems with bullies?"

"Not really, I'm not a popular kid at all and they tend to not notice me. If they do it's never anything bad just annoying. I just shake them off."

"I wish I could do that," Dan sighed.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well, there's a reason I transferred here," He mumbled.

"I understand," I said quietly.

"I dunno, my old school was just really hard to deal with. Yeah I had the same stuff with teachers being jerks and all, but the other kids that were there were the worst," he explained. "It started out alright, I had a few friends, I wasn't super popular, but I didn't really care. They kind of started to change after a while. They got more obsessed about being liked and being popular, and they started to not want me to hang around because I wasn't 'cool'. Then when one of the bullies somehow found out I was gay, well, it was just downhill from there."

I was quiet, just listening and letting Dan talk. I felt really bad for him because I could totally empathize.

"And really it got to the point where I just had enough, so I asked my mum to help me transfer here," Dan said. It was quiet again as I just nodded a response.

"Sorry," Dan mumbled. "I'm not really sure why I told you all that."

"No no, it's okay, I totally understand what you're saying. It may not have been that bad for me but at times I can really empathize with what you went through," I replied.

"Really?" Dan asked.

"Yeah. And I would never make fun of you for it either because I know how horrible it is," I assured him.

"Thanks Phil," he said quietly. He looked down at his shoes for the next few minutes. We just sat in silence. It wasn't necessarily tense, but it wasn't one of those peaceful silences, it was just kind of awkward. The warning bell rang, signaling it was time to go back to class. I sighed and got up.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later then," Dan said.

"Okay."

He started to walk away but I spoke up again.

"Hey, so um, did you want to like come over after school or something? Like, if you're not doing anything later, we can just hang out or something," I offered.

Dan looked at me for a moment, pondering my question. I could tell he was thinking because I could see him chewing his lip. Finally he responded.

"Sure I guess, I'm not doing anything later, I guess we could just work on homework and hang out or something," he said.

"Great, so I'll meet you by the front entrance after school then?" I said.

"Okay," he said.

We didn't have any classes together for the rest of the day, so we parted until school was over. I raced up the stairs to make it to geography in time without getting yelled at for being late... again. The last few periods took forever. My mind was so focused on Dan that I couldn't concentrate. I felt good that he's starting to warm up to me now. I like him, he seems nice, just misunderstood, but we have a lot in common. Maybe today we'll be able to hang out and just enjoy each other's company. I thought about what he had told me about his old school - he apologized and said he didn't know why he had just said all that. Does he trust me more now? Maybe he felt more comfortable with me so he opened up a little bit. I felt nice but of course I felt bad for him, that must have been really awful if he had to change schools because of it. But if I'm going to be his friend then I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen again. I'd want someone to do the same thing for me, so I might as well take the first step. I was kind of nervous about him coming over later, but I tried to put any worry out of my mind. I'm just afraid he's gonna think I'm weird and hate me. He's just cautious, I need to stop worrying about it, it's okay, right?

* * *

The final bell rang and everyone jumped out of their seats. Finally, freedom. Students spilled out into the hallways and streamed towards the exits. I went with them, bypassing my locker because it was on the other side of the school - I just wanted to find Dan so we could go home. I pushed past people and fought my way to the big doors at the front. When I got outside, I looked around for a minute. Dan said he'd wait by the steps for me, but I couldn't find him. I figured I had just got out before he did so I waited. And waited. And waited. Ten or 15 minutes had passed and he still wasn't there. Was he suddenly trying to avoid me? Does he think I'm weird? Or was he just pretending? Stop it, Phil, he's just lost in there. He'll be out. As I waited a little bit longer, a sickening thought came to mind. You don't think Marty or Deon had gotten hold of him? They are probably really pissed off at the both of us, him for faking them out and me for yelling at them. My heart started thumping and I decided to go back inside to find him. There were so many people who had just gotten outside and then decided to stop and chat in front of the doors. I pushed past some and almost made it inside when I heard someone call my name. I turned around to find Dan coming out of the other set of double doors.

"There you are!" I said, relieved.

"Sorry, I got held up. I didn't have access to the online math homework thing so I had to sit and listen to the teacher explain it," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh that, yeah it's pretty stupid," I replied.

"So... are we going to your house?" he asked.

"Yeah, sorry. It's not very far, just this way," I said.

He followed me past the buses and cars going by the school. It was nice and breezy out, not really cold but it wasn't hot either. I enjoyed not wearing sleeves, but Dan seemed to be content wrapped up in his jacket. We talked a little bit until we reached my house. My mum's car wasn't there so nobody was home. I fished around for a key in my bag and let us in.

"Nice house," he remarked.

"Thanks. Do you want anything to drink or something? There's soda, tea, juice..." I asked.

"I'll just take soda."

We grabbed two cans and went up to my room. We had decided on doing homework first and then we'll probably just hang around and play video games. When I pushed open the door to my room his eyes lit up.

"You like Muse?" he asked, looking at my poster.

"Oh yeah, they're one of my favorite bands," I said. He looked around at the various ones I had; Fall Out Boy, Paramore, My Chemical Romance, Death Note, Buffy, Pokemon... there were a lot that I had proudly collected over the years.

"I love all those bands, they're amazing!" He said.

"I know right!"

"Do you play Pokemon?" he asked.

"Of course! My favorite is Growlithe," I said, imitating the Pokemon's call.

"Mine is Gengar," he replied.

"I have a Gengar t-shirt and I wear it literally all the time," I said. "They make fun of me at school for still liking Pokemon but I don't care, Pokemon is the best."

"Hell yeah!"

And with that we just started talking. Our homework was completely forgotten as we went into this and that subject. We talked about all kinds of things - our favorite bands, our favorite video games, what we like to do when we're bored, basically the whole smorgasbord. It didn't take us long to launch into a gaming marathon either. A couple of hours passed quickly as we went through Pokemon battles, Super Smash Bros. fights, Sonic stages, and Mario Kart races. It turns out he's an amazing gamer, much better than I am, and I thought that I was pretty good at these. He claims it comes from a lot of time on his hands, since he doesn't have a brother or sister or best friend to hang out with. We had lost track of time and realized our homework still needed to be done, so we decided on finishing it. It fortunately didn't take very long, and just as we were finishing up I heard the lock clicking on the door downstairs.

"It sounds like my mum is home," I said.

"What time is it?" Dan asked.

"It's almost 7," I said, checking my phone.

"Jesus my mum is gonna be home soon and she'll probably start freaking out when she can't find me," he said. "I guess I better go."

"I'll walk with you, is it far?" I asked.

"Not from here really."

He grabbed his bag and we went downstairs. I said hello to my mum and introduced Dan to her. She smiled at me on our way out as if she was saying "I told you everything would turn out fine". It was starting to get cold now so we walked a little bit quicker so we weren't stuck out here after dark. Dan's house was a few streets down, not very far from me but apparently just far enough to be in a different school zone. We chatted as we walked. I felt good to have helped Dan. I'm glad that I took the initiative to become his friend, because normally I'd never do something like this. But it felt so different now. He seemed a lot more relaxed around me, I guess he felt like he could actually talk about stuff he liked without worrying about the other person judging him for it. It made me feel good inside at least, I was happy to see him smiling and laughing. He actually has a really beautiful smile.

We finally reached his house in another neighborhood. It looked a lot like mine but somewhat smaller. The drive was empty, so I figured his parents must not be home either.

"My mum's not here, I guess we beat her," he said. "Oh well, at least she didn't get home early and then freak out because I wasn't here."

"Why would she freak out?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I'm just usually at home by myself because I don't have any friends, so she'd probably think something happened if I wasn't home by the time she got there."

"Oh."

It was awkwardly quiet again as we stood on his front porch while he searched for his key in his pocket. He looked down at his feet before looking up at me.

"Listen Phil, thanks for coming and talking to me," he said. "I know I kinda tried to shrug you off at first but that's because I really don't like to come out of my shell. I've just been hurt a few times in the past and I try to be more careful. But I guess what I'm trying to say is thanks for genuinely trying to be my friend and just being yourself, and letting me be myself. It makes me feel a lot better, because I've had a lot of stress from going to this new school."

"Well you're welcome," I replied. "When I first saw you I just thought you looked sad, like someone who needed a friend. To be honest, I don't even know where it came from because I don't normally go talking to people, but you just seemed different. So I'm glad I didn't freak you out or anything."

"Well... thanks Phil, it means a lot to me."

He reached over and gave me a small hug. I totally didn't expect it, but I wasn't unpleasantly surprised. I hugged him back. It was only a split second, just a friendly gesture, but I couldn't help but feel butterflies inside. When he let go, he smiled and started to unlock the door.

"So I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'll see you there," I managed to say.

I said goodbye and started to walk away as he closed the door. I had this extremely weird feeling inside. My stomach was filled with fluttering butterflies. I felt good that he appreciated me being his friend but... but... this feeling was different. Do I like him? Like, am I attracted to him? Well, he is easy on the eyes, but... no Phil, he doesn't feel the same way, you're just overthinking it. It was just a friendly gesture, that's all. But I still couldn't shake off this feeling. I think I fell in love with Dan.

* * *

***gasp* PHAN! So hay guise another chapter yay. Writing this took a lot longer than I intended... I wanted to upload yesterday and right as I sat down my power went out for two hours... yeah thanks electric company I really appreciated that. But anyway our chapter is here and Dan has opened up to Phil, but oooh what is Phil feeling inside? Is it reciprocated? We shall see. Also a shoutout to ShirinX33 for reminding me that Dan's favorite Pokemon was Gengar :D I remembered Phil's was Growlithe but I sort of forgot Dan's... I was leaning towards Gengar but something told me Charizard but anyway, thanks! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and if you're enjoying this story then thanks so much for reading! Also thanks for all your reviews, I'm so glad you like it! ~Ttfn~**


	6. Chapter 6 - Laying On The Bathroom Floor

I slept pretty decently last night. I had a really good time with Dan yesterday, but my mind was still spinning. Do I like him? As in, do I have a crush on him? I kind of thing I do. I knew when I first met him there was something about him that sort of attracted me, and I still can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe it's just him as a whole. He's really nice, funny, attractive, and he's a lot like me. He just understands me; I haven't really had anyone like that before. We like a lot of the same things, but it feels like when we're hanging out, we just connect. But at the same time, I've only known him for a few days so far. Am I sure that this is love? Maybe I'll wait and see until I see him at school today. They say you just know when it is, right? So hopefully I'll be able to figure it out.

I quickly showered and straightened my hair, trying to actually make myself look nice for once. I pulled on some black skinny jeans (do I even own another kind of garment?) and another plaid button down shirt. Dan once told me he liked it, so it encouraged me to wear it more often. I must have spent a while in the bathroom, because when I got downstairs my mum had already left for work. I wasn't really concerned, I just grabbed a cereal bar and went out the door. I walked a little quicker to school than I usually do - I think its the thought of seeing Dan that put the spring in my step. Well, at the same time, I am sort of late, so I guess it's a good thing that I actually feel energetic enough to get to school on time.

When I arrived, Dan was waiting on the steps for me, doing something on his phone to probably avoid talking to people... I do exactly the same thing. When he saw me coming he smiled and put it in his pocket.

"You look cheerful," he commented.

"I do?" I asked, blushing a little.

"Yeah," he laughed. "And now you're turning all red."

"I... uh I guess I'm a little flushed from walking quickly," I stammered.

"Alright then, if you say so," Dan shrugged with a slight smirk.

"Oh shut up you turnip. Anyway, we have to get to class before the bell or Mrs. Acaster will eat us alive."

"I can believe that."

We walked quickly through the halls to English. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I _hate_ having English so early in the day. But honestly, Dan is making me feel better about being in school. Like I at least have something to look forward to other than going home when hell is over. Maybe it's starting to come clear why I think I have a crush on Dan. He makes me happy. I mean, I have a couple of friends, but as the years went on they've become more distant and we don't talk too much, but even back then I don't really feel the same about one of them as I do Dan. But should I-

_Riiiiiiiiiiiiiing_

Damn. The bell shook me out of my thoughts. We raced in the room and sat down in our seats. Fortunately, Mrs. Acaster was looking down at something and didn't notice us come in slightly late. Off the hook this time at least. She started her lecture and it didn't take long for her to go off on some rant about this author that she liked and how he was a model writer for us. I really don't care. I felt myself zoning out like I usually do, so I just stared off into space looking like I was paying attention. My thoughts started to drift over to Dan again. You know, besides the things we share in common, he's also really attractive. I've never really stopped and looked him up and down before and he's actually pretty cute. His hair looks like it'd be really soft when you stroke it. He has a really sweet face, his slightly tan skin tone goes well with his hair and the little dimple that appears when he smiles is so gorgeous. His eyes are another story. I can get lost when I look into them. They're a really nice shade of brown, almost chocolate. When he smiles at me, I can see his eyes light up too. But then at the same time, if I really look hard enough, there's something I can't quite put my finger on. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and while they definitely fulfill this analogy, there seems to be something about him. Maybe something that he's hiding? Some sort of dark past? It could be the reason why he is usually so outwardly cold and guarded to people. But he did say he got bullied a lot at his old school... I can't blame him for feeling like that, if that's the reason behind it.

I suddenly came back to reality and found myself staring at Dan. Shit... I hope nobody saw that. I sat up and looked the other way.

_What?_ I saw him mouth.

_Nothing._ I replied.

He gave a small smile and turned back to listening to the teacher's lecture. You know what? I think it's official. I'm in love with Dan Howell. Just that tiny smile he gave me was enough to give me butterflies and goosebumps at the same time. But how do I tell him? I've never really been skilled with words... or just skilled in the romance department in general. I know he's gay, but does he like me? And if I told him, would it jeopardize our friendship? I feel really confused right now. There's just so many emotions going on at once. Maybe I just need someone to talk to, someone with more experience who can help me out. Who could I ask? My mum? Ehhhh I'd rather not. I thought about the few other people that went here that I was still sort of friends with, and I ended up deciding on asking my friend Nick. I've known him for a while, and we used to be pretty close, but once high school started we've ended up growing more distant. He's a lot more popular than I am, so he's not worried about not having enough friends. Sometimes, well actually I should say just occasionally, we'll still hang out but its not too often. But I think he's a good enough friend to at least ask for help. I have a free period after English today, so I'll ask him then.

Apparently I had used up the entire class thinking about Dan, because the bell rang and snapped me out of my thoughts again. The teacher wrote our homework assignment down on the white board and sat down at her desk. Good, I don't need to be held behind for a "chat". I got outside with Dan following shortly behind, checking his schedule.

"I have sociology next, what do you have?" he asked.

"I just have a free period," I replied.

"Dang. Okay, well I'll see you in maths after this then, yeah?" he said.

"Sure, see ya."

Dan made his way down the hall and I went off in the other direction, looking for my friend Nick. I quickly found him at his locker, and fortunately he was alone.

"Hey Nick," I said slightly nervously.

"Oh hey Phil," he mumbled.

"Listen, I need to talk to you, it's really important. Are you busy?" I asked.

"Yeah, I've got free period," he said, closing his locker and turning around. "What's up?"

"Well... I just... I need advice in the romance department, and since you're my more experienced friend, you're kind of the only one I thought of that I could turn to," I said awkwardly.

"Sure mate," he said with a smile. I sighed a breath of relief. I'm not sure why I was nervous, maybe I was just afraid of him being too busy and not really caring. But he's my friend, so I guess its nice to know that even though we don't talk much he'll still listen if I have a problem.

We went down the hall and went outside to the little courtyard area thingy that was in the center of the school. No one is ever here, so I figured it was a good place to ask him, since I really didn't need my business circulating around the school's gossipers. I sat down on the bench and he sat down next to me, so I started talking.

"Okay, so, it might sound kind of awkward, but I need your help," I started.

"With what?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well... so there's this... person, that I kind of have a crush on, and I have no idea how to talk to them about it. We haven't known each other for a super long time, so I feel kind of awkward. Besides not really having any clue what to say, I'm also afraid of getting rejected and ruining our friendship," I explained. "So you've had a couple really nice girlfriends before, how would you approach someone that you have a crush on?"

He grinned at me.

"Li'l Phil is finally getting him a girl," he teased. I turned red. He thinks it's a girl... yeah I used gender-neutral pronouns but I'm not sure if I want him to know I'm gay just yet. He kept talking so I had to shut my brain up.

"Well, like, if you're going to tell someone you are interested in them, you just gotta be yourself," he started. "You know? Like don't pretend to be someone you're not, cause that's just gonna come around to bite you in the ass. Just be sincere, real, and down to earth. When I asked Laina out, I just said, "You know Laina, we've been friends for a while and I really like you. You're just really nice and sweet and overall an amazing person..." and then asked her out. She said she fancied me too so that was the easy part at least."

I sucked in my breath. I can do this, right?

"You can do it. You really love her, right?" he asked.

"Actually, yes. I've been really thinking hard about it over the last few days, and I really do love him. I finally decided that I have to say something, so thanks for your help," I replied.

"Wait... _him?_" he asked, whipping his head around and giving me a look.

"I... uh..." Shit. I didn't mean to say that. I was probably purple by now.

"You're in love with a guy?!" He asked again, seemingly shocked.

"Okay, fine, yes it is a guy!" I said, a very stressed tone in my voice. "I'm sorry that I never told you I was gay, but I didn't think anybody needed to know. I just wanted advice because I really need to talk to this guy, but Nick, _PLEASE_ do _NOT_ tell anybody about this!"

"So you've been gay this whole time?" he asked again.

"Yes for a while but I don't want it public yet so please keep your mouth shut!" I stressed.

"That's... I don't even know what to say... that's so gross!" he exclaimed.

"W-what?" I shivered.

"My best friend is gay! I just... did you ever have a crush on me?" he asked, sounding horrified.

"No! Stop freaking out, please!" I begged, almost in tears.

"No I am totally freaked out, sorry Phil but I can't hang around a fag, I just gotta go... I feel so gross right now," he said. He got up and started to walk quickly for the door.

"Nick, stop, please! Don't tell anybody!" I yelled. I was already crying now. I tried to grab his arm.

"Don't touch me! I'm so out of here... they are not gonna believe this..." he said, running back in the school.

"No!" I yelled after him.

No reply. I had no idea what to do right now. I was just crying and shaking really hard. This was NOT what I planned to happen. Is he going to tell anyone? I looked through the window in the door and I saw him go running up to one of his more popular friends. He looked pretty animated as he was talking to them, and their reaction looked rather shocked. Oh no. Oh no no no no no! He's telling people! It's gonna spread around the school like wildfire! I sank down onto the bench, put my head in my hands, and cried. I couldn't stop shaking, and my heart was beating really hard. I was just so scared. I didn't want everyone to know my only secret. Oh shit, what if it spreads and Dan finds out? If I was going to tell him that I loved him I do _not_ want him finding out about it through the grapevine first. That thought made me start crying harder. I just don't even know what to do. My old best friend, someone I thought liked me for who I was, is now completely disgusted with me and doesn't even want to be in the same room. It probably won't take long for Dan to feel the same way. Suddenly I feel sick. I think I'm going to throw up. I stood up and peeked through the window. The bathroom door is right across the hall, and there's nobody there right now. I think I'm safe. I bolted in the school and quickly into the bathroom. Nobody in here either. I ran into a stall and locked the door and just puked. All that crying and worrying made my stomach really upset. I felt like my emotions were twisted and shaken up and now I'm heaving them up into the toilet. Oh my god I just want to die. Once I finished I flushed it away, then sank down onto the floor. What am I going to do? I can't go back to class, not right after this. They'll kill me with their horrible, nasty comments. And if I did go back, Dan would naturally find out as they came up to me and started berating me. I just want to go home. How can I get out of this? I thought for a minute... maybe I'll just go to the nurse's office and say I'm sick and ask for an early release. I just threw up, maybe I could say it's a stomach bug and that'll give them more excuse to let me go. Okay, that's my story.

I got up and splashed water on my face. I tried to make my eyes look less red and puffy like I had been crying, but it wasn't super effective. I just sighed. I poked my head out of the bathroom door and looked around. There's nobody in the halls, everyone must be at class. I stepped out and walked quickly to the nurse's office. I kept my head down, trying not to make eye contact with anybody who could've been in the halls. Fortunately, the two people that I _really_ did not want to run into weren't around. I knocked on the door of the nurse's office and she told me to come in. Ms. Mandel was cheerful looking lady with curly brown hair and blue glasses. For some reason, she usually wore a shirt that looked like cheese and had on a fake curly mustache. Nobody ever questioned it, they just went along with it either out of good humor or fear.

"Hello, Philip, what brings you here today?" she asked me.

"I think I'm sick. I was on free period when my stomach suddenly felt sick and I had to throw up. I might have a stomach bug," I lied.

"You don't look very well," she commented, touching my forehead with the back of her hand. "You don't have a fever, but a stomach bug has been going around recently. It might just be best to send you home. I'll put a note in for your teachers to excuse you from class for today."

"Thanks."

She scribbled out a note and handed it to her assistant, a woman named Natalie. She disappeared, and Ms. Mandel turned back to me.

"Okay, you're set to go. Do you need to call a parent to come pick you up?" she asked.

"My mum is working, I don't think I can. But my house is only a few blocks from here."

"Alright, you should be fine to walk then. When you get home, make sure to drink plenty of fluids and get lots of rest. I'll call your mum and let her know that you've been sent home," she instructed.

I nodded a reply and took the little slip of paper she gave me. My bag was in my locker but I really didn't give a fuck at this point, I just need to go home. I walked out the front door and into the cold, rainy English fall weather.

* * *

**Hey guys! Sorry for being a little late with this one. Lately I have been either really busy or not feeling well and trying to write was just blah, but today its all rainy and stuff and now I had time to make a chapter so yay. There was going to be more to this chapter but it ended up being somewhat long, so I decided to break here and I will try to get the next chapter up really soon, possibly today or tomorrow. But otherwise... so now the school has found out about Phil's secret... what's gonna happen between him and Dan? We'll just have to find out. Also, shoutout to my friends Katelyn and Natalie... Katelyn is the nurse and Natalie was her assistant... they're both fanfic writers and they're really good. Katelyn is ImaginativeDramasaur on here and Natalie is NeverlandNat. so HERH GERHS LERVE YERH. Also "Laina" is actually a reference to the Overly Attached Girlfriend lol. So yeah. And thanks for reading... see you soon! xoxo**


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